I believe that everyone faces many challenges during different phases of life. All these challenges are inevitable. Sometimes, when we meet the difficulties, we will feel depressed and lose our head. To make it worse, we may decide to give up. However, our attitude is very important. I think that we should have a positive attitude. If we have a correct attitude, the life will be all different.
'
As far as I am concerned, I have experienced many obstacles. One of the challenges that I have never forgotten happened five years ago. At that time, I was a junior high school student. One day, my art teacher asked me to participate in an art contest because of my being good at drawing. At that moment, I felt a little bit scared and hesitated whether I have enough ability to join or not. Yet, my home room teacher and friends encouraged me and also gave me a big confidence. They said, ‘’ Just do it, you can make it. ’’ At last, I decided to join the contest. In order to produce an excellent work, I spent one month drawing. During this period of the time, I faced many difficulties. At first, I could hardly decide my topic. Then, I didn’t know use what to take on the topic best. At that time, I really wanted to give up. I thought that it was too difficult for me. Fortunately, with my art teacher’s encouragement and help, I finished my painting. Finally, I also got a good price. It was really unbelievable that I achieved the mission.
'
At last, I think that we should never give up. If we have a good positive attitude, we are willing to learn from our failure and try again until we succeed.
Hi Connie,
回覆刪除Well done! The introduction is nice, and the body paragraph is well developed. You also used time order orders properly so that I can easily follow your step to read this episode.
Still, there are some mistakes for you to correcct.
1. I believe that everyone faces many challenges during different of the life.
用: different phases of life
2. However, the attitude of us is very important.
用: However, our attitude is very important.
3. I think that we should have a positive attitude. If we have a correct attitude, it will be all different.
這裡的it是指???
4. As far as I am concerned, I have experience many obstacles.
用have experienced
5. One of the challenges that I have never forgotten happened in five years ago.
把in拿掉
6. At that time, I was a junior high school student. One day, my art teacher asked me to participate in an art contest because of being good at drawing.
這裏要用: because of my being good at drawing
7. At that moment, I felt a little bit scared and hesitated whether I should have enough ability to join or not.
為什麼要加should?
8. Yet, my home room teacher and friends encouraged me and also gave me a big confidence. They said, ‘’ Just do it, you could make it. ’
用you can make it
9.At last, I decided to join the contest. In order to take on an excellent work, I spent one month drawing. (好認真啊!)
take on的用法不適合這裏，它的主詞應該式作品而非人。
take on的定義: If something takes on a new appearance or quality, it develops that appearance or quality.
例子: His writing took on a feverish intensity.
所以，簡單的說，你就寫: In order to produce an excellent work, I spent one month drawing.
10. During this period of the time, I faced many difficulties. At first, I could hardly decide my topic.
寫得好
11. Then, I didn’t know use what to take on the topic best.
用: Then, I didn't know what to do so as to make the work take on its best nature.
12. At that time, I really wanted to give up. I thought that it was too difficult for me. Fortunately, with my art teacher’s encouragement and help, I finished my painting.
寫得很好
13. Finally, I also got a good price. I was really unbelievable that I achieved the mission.
不是I was really unbelievable喔 那代表你是個令人不敢相信的人
要用It was really unbelievable that I achieved the mission.
'
14. At last, I think that we should always never give up.
always拿掉
15. However, if we have a good positive attitude, we are willing to learn from our failure and try again until we succeed.
however拿掉
Very good ending